Wayne's Story
Hello, I’m writing my testimony to share the Good news of God’s patience and love.
I belong to a family of believers that are real people like you and me. They have their good times and bad; they laugh and cry; they have their short falls and their strengths, shapes and sizes. They are all different yet have one thing in common, their love for God and their hunger to know him.
When I joined the Vineyard church I knew God had led me to my spiritual home, I had never met a group of believers that were so down to earth and so real. Finding a new place to fellowship can be daunting, especially for someone like me who had emotional baggage, yet they took us in and made us feel part of the family. The Vineyard has been known as the church for “people who don’t like church”, and this is so true. When Kim and I decided to go to church, she had a list of things that she did not like about going to church. The first time we left after church, Kim looked at me and said” this is not like any of the churches I’ve been to before, I like this church.”
Don’t let the laid back ” Baggies, slops and T-shirt” approach fool you. God has moved in our meetings. He told other members to pray specific things into my life that I had not told anyone else but God.
My name is Wayne and this is my testimony. This is a tale of sorrow, love, happiness, loss, sorrow, love, repentance and happiness.
Sorrow My parents had always fought. My brother Brendan and I had always been subjected to it, until one evening we were called to the main bedroom and told that they were getting a divorce. I remember thinking that I would be a little sad, but at least the fighting would stop. To cut a long story short, both my parents have been in abusive, broken relationships since. Not knowing what a stable loving relationship was, I wasn’t ready for what lay ahead.
Love My relationship with the living God started a very long time ago, in fact it started before the foundations of the earth where laid. I only came to the realization of this relationship at the thirteen, when God showed me his love one afternoon at my uncle and aunt’s house, watching TBN. I can’t remember what the content of the sermon was, I just remember feeling so overwhelmed by God’s love. I remember knowing that God wanted to heal my hurts and show me what a real relationship would be like. I remember sitting on a chair in the lounge praying the sinner’s prayer, crying uncontrollably. I felt safe for the first time in a long time. A few days later my uncle and aunt gave me my first bible (the good news) and my relationship with God started to grow.
Happiness I will never forget lying in bed, heart racing and feeling safe, happy, protected, nurtured. My heavenly dad loved me and sent his son Jesus (my brother, savior, redeemer, king) to die on the cross for me. Who would ever want to leave this behind?
Loss How can it be? I have given up my rightful place with God who loves me for what the world has to offer, sorrow, lies, false security and pain. At eighteen I began to take my eyes off Jesus and started to drown. A girl who was always out of my league starts to take interest in me and I fall from grace straight into the arms of a girl not deserving. Know my innocence is gone, so is she, and I experience separation from God. I am filled with the guilt of my sin but numbed by its pleasures. One thing leads to another, from numerous godless relationships with woman that believe in anything but God, to alcohol abuse, marijuana, ecstasy, cocaine and clubbing.
Sorrow I will never forget the times lying in bed with cold sweats, gnashing my teeth, and shaking uncontrollably because of the chemicals I have put into my body the night before. Feeling sad, lonely, broken and living in fear. Trying to ignore the voice in head saying, “You are my child, I freed you from slavery for more than this. Instead of sharing in my kingdom you have given up your inheritance to tend to pigs.”
Love Filled with guilt, fear loneliness and surrounded by wolves, I am taken by surprise. Is this real? Two women inter my life, first my wife to be Kim and then my daughter Jemma.
Little did I realize at the time but God was starting a process of restoration in my life.
I quit the drugs when Kim and I started living together, quit drinking when my daughter was born. Still living in sin… a family without the blessing of marriage and without a relationship with God or other believer’s. I think I have everything under control.
SorrowGod turns any situation into a time of restitution, even the bad times.
I’m at work and the mother of my child is working at the Harbor festival so Jemma is being baby-sat with family. I have just finished with clients and answer the phone, as I am busy answering the phone I see my next client being seated, its our baby sitter, she‘s crying as she asks me to get down to the hospital. Jemma was found floating in a swimming pool and is in ICU.
Jemma spend three days in hospital. I had mixed emotions over that period, but one message came through very strongly: God was telling me that it was time to get my life and family in order, that know was the time for me to make right with him, and that life was too short to play with his gift of salvation. Kim didn’t know what was going on in my heart at that time, but the voice was getting stronger.
Repentance A few nights later Kim went to bed and I took Jemma and put her in her cot. I stood there looking at my little baby girl and started to cry. I don’t think I have ever had such an honest time with Jemma and my creator.
I said, “father thank you for giving Jemma back to me, I give her to you, I will bring her up to know you as Lord and savoir”. I said that even if it was too late for me that I wanted Jemma to go to heaven.
The next day God told me three things that I needed to focus on, I was to make Kim my wife, find a church to fellowship at and to get my house in order.
Happiness I went to a few churches in the area, but didn’t feel as if God wanted me there. My one aunt, who I rent from, told me that she had spoken to a lady on a bus and had been invited to the East London Vineyard Christian Fellowship.
We thought that we would go and check it out. Half way through the service I had an overwhelming sense of joy. I thanked God for leading me to our new place of fellowship.
Kim and I got married about three months later on the 13 August 2005.
Kim and I come from broken dysfunctional homes so, when God said Get your home in order I knew that what he was saying was to break any of the strongholds in our family lines.
Praise God!
I have left out intricate details, not to hide anything but to save space, time and my eyesight. If there is a message that you receive out of these words I hope it is this:
That Jesus came to this earth not to condemn it but to save it. For a very long time satan had been speaking words of condemnation into my mind, I had been listening to a false gospel, no matter what you have done in your life; the blood of Jesus covers it all. Jesus came to this earth to save his people from their sins, of which I am the biggest sinner of all. With all my backsliding, weaknesses, addictions and faults God took the time to restore my life. He has given me a lovely wife, a beautiful daughter and a great place to fellowship at.
I dedicate this testimony to the living triune God, to my wife Kim, my daughter Jemma and my family at Vineyard East London Christian Fellowship; you are all the ingredients to my life.
If you have been moved by this testimony please take the time to think about the fact that God has taken the time out to be reunited to you, he longs to have a real love relationship with you. Whether you have drifted away from God or have never known God’s love before, please pray this prayer with me now:
Father God, I am alone and need you to make my life complete. I thank you for sending your one and only son Jesus to die for my sins, and that he rose from the dead making a way for me to have a relationship with you. Jesus, I confess my sin to you and submit to your rule over my life.
Amen
